Listening

God made us to be relational people. We have a longing to be in relationship with others – friends, family members, others in the community.

The book of James may well be the earliest of the New Testament letters – written in the year A.D. 48. This letter was written by the brother of Jesus who became one of the leaders of the church in Jerusalem. James addressed the letter to Christians everywhere. He wrote it to teach Christians the practice of Christianity. He emphasizes that if we have a genuine faith, we will show it by acting like Christians. James gives practical advice on things like anger and quarrelling, showing favouritism, controlling the tongue, boasting, patience and prayer.

(Read James 1:19-27  "Everyone should be quick to listen; slow to speak."…

Next to a good relationship with God, that which can give us the most happiness or contentment is not wealth, not travel, not a Sony Plasma, High Definition, 50" television. Rather, it is a good relationship with someone – a friend, a spouse, a child, a parent. The converse is also true, that which can give us the most heartache and the most anxiety is not financial problems, not health difficulties, but a relationship that has become strained, or has turned sour. A good relationship with someone we care for is a treasure. Yet, maintaining healthy relationships is not easy

What can help us succeed in our relationships? The ability to listen. Your friendship, your marriage, your relationship with those you care about is built up through the art of listening. To listen is to love and to strengthen the connection.

God's Word comes to us today with the simple message: "Everyone should be quick to listen; slow to speak." We need to hear that message because, within our relationships, usually the instinct to talk is stronger than the instinct to listen.  We can all fall short of this and I have done this myself too.

In reminding us to be quick to listen, the Bible writer, James, may be hitting on an aspect of our sinful nature. Our egotist, selfish nature desires to be heard by others, to defend ourselves, rather than to listen to and to understand others.

Thankfully, if we look to Jesus we see he puts a lot importance on listening to others.  The story of Martha & Mary (Luke 10:38-42), he tells off Martha who is rushing around worrying about a meal.  He says to Mary who finds time to stop and listen to Jesus.  That she has done to best thing.  So as we look to Jesus he is there to help us to overcome our tendency to think more highly of ourselves than we ought and to desire to understand the other. To listen is to love and to strengthen the connection.

How does listening strengthen the connection? How does listening build up relationships?

1. Listening is a form of love. By listening, we put aside our agenda, we take a break from what we are doing, and we give our attention to the other. Listening requires selflessness and humility. It is a form of love, and love is good for relationships.

2. Listening shows you care. Listening shows you want to understand what the other person is experiencing, is feeling, and is thinking. When someone close to you senses that you are not really listening to what he or she has to say, that person is rightfully hurt. Not listening gives the message that he or she does not count, is not worth your time. Conversely, listening shows you care which in turn strengthens your relationships.   Listening shows the other person that he or she counts for something to you and so builds up your relationship.


Paul Waters